I'm so tired.
I know it's the last leg, but can I not be responsible for doing someone else's work just because they're not cooperative?
Maybe completion of a project on time doesn't show that we're good managers. It could very well be where the managers killed themselves just to finish the workon their own.
We're going to be viewed as pushovers, and people are going to question why we're helping one party and not another. I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE CONTINUATION IF THIS! And it ESPECIALLY DOES NOT HELP if that party is unappreciative of your effort.
And, oh joy, I get to be the one who has to coordinate and take initiative to liaise with each and every party to complete your wishlist. Not everything is as simple as you think. Every minute I spend on this is another minute I have to put off my responsibilities.
It absolutely does not make sense that I'm going home at 8, 9, 10, 11pm to get this done when the onus is on them to do it.
And I know I'm just venting. Things could have been better controlled. Lines could have been more clearly drawn. Plans could have been better thought through.
BUT STILL! GAH!
Hey, what do I know, right?
And no, the irony is not lost on me that I'm wasting precious time posting this when it's time to sleep.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Oh grow up!
I won't pretend that I'm mature. Far from it. I deviate from the norm because I want to be different. I want to be special. I strive to be the best because I'm afraid if I'm not, no one would see me. I avoid social interaction because I'm shy and I tend to stumble upon my words.
Worst of all, I can't let go because I don't like to lose.
Losing. There're always multiple ways to view this word; to use this word. Are you losing out by not being somewhere at a certain time? Are you losing your mind by doing this? Are you wasting your time and focusing on what shouldn't be a priority in your life? Are you losing because you're afraid to win; afraid of the results?
Are you just too afraid to take a chance?
At work, all your correspondences are worded carefully, to avoid offending people who could help you in the future. When with your friends, you let a little too loose and somehow offend people without meaning to. When with your family, you don't spend nearly enough time because you're either with your friends or at work. Or you're at home but in different rooms, doing different things.
Your priorities. Are they correct? Are they correct at this point in time? Sometimes I just feel like going back in time to warn my former self of the stupid things I will do. But guess what? Not all the changes I would like to make benefits anyone else. I'm unabashed though. It's all in my head.
I think I've grown from one year ago. I've seen more of the world than I've ever had. I've accumulated some experience. I learnt some new things.
Have I grown up? Not necessarily.
I still selfishly sleep late and make my mum worry. I still avoid household chores. I still like to make known what I am doing, like staying behind later than necessary just to make sure I send out a two-thirds finished product. Just so that people know I'm there. So that they feel some form of guilt that I'm working this hard.
And guess what? I'm not coping. I'm falling apart. I'm burning out. And I'm really hungry.
I'm too afraid to admit what I need to admit. I avoid thinking of it. And right know, I really don't have a conscious idea of what I'm afraid of admitting. It's almost 3. I have to wake up at 7. There's a presentation today and I'm lacking 2 entirely new slides. I have 1.5 or so hours to get it done in the morning.
I shouldn't have escaped work the past two weekends. Is it my fault I have to work weekends? I don't know. Maybe I'm just unproductive.
I shall go. Escapism is good. Today is not the day to face my demons.
Today is not the day to grow up.
Worst of all, I can't let go because I don't like to lose.
Losing. There're always multiple ways to view this word; to use this word. Are you losing out by not being somewhere at a certain time? Are you losing your mind by doing this? Are you wasting your time and focusing on what shouldn't be a priority in your life? Are you losing because you're afraid to win; afraid of the results?
Are you just too afraid to take a chance?
At work, all your correspondences are worded carefully, to avoid offending people who could help you in the future. When with your friends, you let a little too loose and somehow offend people without meaning to. When with your family, you don't spend nearly enough time because you're either with your friends or at work. Or you're at home but in different rooms, doing different things.
Your priorities. Are they correct? Are they correct at this point in time? Sometimes I just feel like going back in time to warn my former self of the stupid things I will do. But guess what? Not all the changes I would like to make benefits anyone else. I'm unabashed though. It's all in my head.
I think I've grown from one year ago. I've seen more of the world than I've ever had. I've accumulated some experience. I learnt some new things.
Have I grown up? Not necessarily.
I still selfishly sleep late and make my mum worry. I still avoid household chores. I still like to make known what I am doing, like staying behind later than necessary just to make sure I send out a two-thirds finished product. Just so that people know I'm there. So that they feel some form of guilt that I'm working this hard.
And guess what? I'm not coping. I'm falling apart. I'm burning out. And I'm really hungry.
I'm too afraid to admit what I need to admit. I avoid thinking of it. And right know, I really don't have a conscious idea of what I'm afraid of admitting. It's almost 3. I have to wake up at 7. There's a presentation today and I'm lacking 2 entirely new slides. I have 1.5 or so hours to get it done in the morning.
I shouldn't have escaped work the past two weekends. Is it my fault I have to work weekends? I don't know. Maybe I'm just unproductive.
I shall go. Escapism is good. Today is not the day to face my demons.
Today is not the day to grow up.
Wednesday, June 03, 2015
Life is about looking back and laughing at yourself
I leave my old blog posts here so I can laugh at myself; my pettiness, my attention-seekiness, my attempts at being funny/cool, my sadness, my anger, my obsessiveness, my propensity for sentimentalism, my wrong usage of bombastic words.
Please don't laugh at me. I reserve this exclusive right. D=
Then again, it's fortunate to be able to laugh at the old you.
The you who didn't know better. The you who expected the world to revolve around you. The you who cared too much. The you who who succeeded. The you who failed. The you who readily believed in people. The you who threw tantrums when things didn't go your way. The you who didn't DARE to voice out when something was wrong.
How much have you changed? Probably not very much.
But you still laugh. Because life is ever-changing. Because sometimes, life is about taking one step back, to observe and not take charge. See where it'll lead you. You never know where you will find yourself in twenty years.
What's the fun in knowing you walked down a planned path to a destination while hitting every single milestone, anyway? Life doesn't quite go the way you want it to, and it shouldn't. There's always that surprise lurking in the corner. But when it jumps out at us, why don't we try embracing it? It is with this mentality that everything happens because of God's (and whomever you pray to) Will that many religious friends seem content. Why don't my non-religious friends think of it this way, everything happens for a reason, and if it doesn't there's nothing you can do to undo it (unless, of course, you built a time machine).
Live life, and live with the consequences of living.
I went off tangent here.
Please don't laugh at me. I reserve this exclusive right. D=
Then again, it's fortunate to be able to laugh at the old you.
The you who didn't know better. The you who expected the world to revolve around you. The you who cared too much. The you who who succeeded. The you who failed. The you who readily believed in people. The you who threw tantrums when things didn't go your way. The you who didn't DARE to voice out when something was wrong.
How much have you changed? Probably not very much.
But you still laugh. Because life is ever-changing. Because sometimes, life is about taking one step back, to observe and not take charge. See where it'll lead you. You never know where you will find yourself in twenty years.
What's the fun in knowing you walked down a planned path to a destination while hitting every single milestone, anyway? Life doesn't quite go the way you want it to, and it shouldn't. There's always that surprise lurking in the corner. But when it jumps out at us, why don't we try embracing it? It is with this mentality that everything happens because of God's (and whomever you pray to) Will that many religious friends seem content. Why don't my non-religious friends think of it this way, everything happens for a reason, and if it doesn't there's nothing you can do to undo it (unless, of course, you built a time machine).
Live life, and live with the consequences of living.
I went off tangent here.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Burn burn burn
First, there was fried chicken on the bus. Then, there was ismellsomethingburninganditstanktohighheavensanditwokemeupandican'tthinkofanythingelsetoaddnopejustkiddingicangoonforever.
So apparently the commotion right downstairs at the badminton court at 4am was a fire. I should have known, right? Like, there was smoke coming out. Pffft! We ended up just closing the windows and sleeping. Very civic-minded of us. In my defense, I did try calling the security guards. No one picked up though. Meh. What's gonna happen if it's a real emergency?
But it was an exciting night, albeit a probably poisonous one.
Long day of words and more words tomorrow at work. To be realistic, I won't finish my work this week. Hah.
To be completely random, my boss' water bottle has algae. Yikes!
So apparently the commotion right downstairs at the badminton court at 4am was a fire. I should have known, right? Like, there was smoke coming out. Pffft! We ended up just closing the windows and sleeping. Very civic-minded of us. In my defense, I did try calling the security guards. No one picked up though. Meh. What's gonna happen if it's a real emergency?
But it was an exciting night, albeit a probably poisonous one.
Long day of words and more words tomorrow at work. To be realistic, I won't finish my work this week. Hah.
To be completely random, my boss' water bottle has algae. Yikes!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Facebook post
I saw this post on Facebook the other day. My friend who's aspiring to be in the Singapore Police Force detailed how he tried to save a foreign construction worker, and how nobody else offered any help.
Apparently, he checked for his pulse and and tried to shake him awake. With no reply, he called the police and the ambulance while more onlookers gathered, all the while trying to resuscitate him. Ya di dah.
After going home, he posted this status, saying he hoped the victim would be fine. It's all bearable, and I was going to click on the like button to encourage him. That was until his next statement; "Im just doing wat i need to do if im going to join SPF in the future". What, you would have be an onlooker if you weren't aspiring to be in the SPF?
He then had the audacity to stress that "the other ppl didnt help at all -.-" and that "this case really honed my leadership skills". Really? I feel a truckload of disrespect for you right now. You're disrespecting others for not offering to help when you would have been one and the same if you weren't aspiring to be in the Force? How hypocritical can you get?
Maybe you were trying your best to save a fellow human being, out of the kindness of your heart, but to boast about it online, I really feel that you were merely putting on a show for the onlookers and for us to get a good word for yourself.
Apparently, he checked for his pulse and and tried to shake him awake. With no reply, he called the police and the ambulance while more onlookers gathered, all the while trying to resuscitate him. Ya di dah.
After going home, he posted this status, saying he hoped the victim would be fine. It's all bearable, and I was going to click on the like button to encourage him. That was until his next statement; "Im just doing wat i need to do if im going to join SPF in the future". What, you would have be an onlooker if you weren't aspiring to be in the SPF?
He then had the audacity to stress that "the other ppl didnt help at all -.-" and that "this case really honed my leadership skills". Really? I feel a truckload of disrespect for you right now. You're disrespecting others for not offering to help when you would have been one and the same if you weren't aspiring to be in the Force? How hypocritical can you get?
Maybe you were trying your best to save a fellow human being, out of the kindness of your heart, but to boast about it online, I really feel that you were merely putting on a show for the onlookers and for us to get a good word for yourself.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
I crave soup
I'm craving soup, but I shall settle for KitKat instead. My cough tells me no, my ulcer tells me no, but my stomach tells be yes. Having phlegm sucks. I can't even breathe without having the urge to cough.
I spent half the day watching Whose Line. I laughed a lot. 6 episodes of season 1, to be exact. All because I'm getting disgusted at Walt. He turn from badass to just bad. Familiar? It's just like what happened with Gustavo, and guess what? He died. So I don't crave for the next episode of Breaking Bad. It's just like a waiting game now -- who is going to die next?
I just organised a classic rock playlist on Grooveshark. I couldn't find any songs by The Beatles. Copyright, I guess. I guess I like the classic rock songs because it's like a game of identifying a song not from my generation.
Started on my IR essay. I'm really interested in this subject now. It's far more interesting than the rest of the subjects. Haven't touched any work other than IR and ESAP this weekend. Damn this cold. And the weather was bloody warm the past few days, too!
I spent half the day watching Whose Line. I laughed a lot. 6 episodes of season 1, to be exact. All because I'm getting disgusted at Walt. He turn from badass to just bad. Familiar? It's just like what happened with Gustavo, and guess what? He died. So I don't crave for the next episode of Breaking Bad. It's just like a waiting game now -- who is going to die next?
I just organised a classic rock playlist on Grooveshark. I couldn't find any songs by The Beatles. Copyright, I guess. I guess I like the classic rock songs because it's like a game of identifying a song not from my generation.
Started on my IR essay. I'm really interested in this subject now. It's far more interesting than the rest of the subjects. Haven't touched any work other than IR and ESAP this weekend. Damn this cold. And the weather was bloody warm the past few days, too!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Lumia 920
The Nokia Lumia 920 is coming out! It looks so nice, and less oddly-shaped than my present N8. Actually, it looks a little like my Dad's Sony Xperia 10, hopefully not as wide.
I'm pretty excited about the PureView camera. I hear it's going to be gorgeous. I've been more than satisfied with the N8 12MP camera, but my hand has never been steady. So my photos don't turn out fantastic. Hopefully the OIS in the Lumia is an improved version.
One bad thing with smartphones nowadays: they've drifted away from supporting FM. No receiver/transmitter means no radio on-the-go for me, because I don't have a data plan and I don't plan to sign up for one. One good thing about the Lumia is the free Nokia Music Store streaming. I just hope it's not a 1-year subscription with no way of getting back the music after you change both your computer and your phone (like the case for my Comes With Music 5800).
The weight of the device puts me off, however. My N8 is already heavy at 135g. The Lumia is going to be 185g. That's almost a 40% increase in weight. Well, at least there's a (much) greater increase in the CPU speed and RAM. I suppose the only accurate way to compare this is if you compared it to other popular smartphones in the market.
With all that's said and done, I'm looking forward to getting the Nokia Lumia 920, but it sucks that I can't recontract with Starhub until May 2013. That probably means that I won't be getting the Lumia 920. Did I really wait THAT long after the release date to get the N8? Argh. I don't even remember my N8 being so new. Well, I don't NEED to change my N8. I've just fallen in love (at first sight) with the Lumia 920, that's all.
Would Nokia send me a free Lumia 920 if I promise to provide regular feedback to them? Pretty please?
I'm pretty excited about the PureView camera. I hear it's going to be gorgeous. I've been more than satisfied with the N8 12MP camera, but my hand has never been steady. So my photos don't turn out fantastic. Hopefully the OIS in the Lumia is an improved version.
One bad thing with smartphones nowadays: they've drifted away from supporting FM. No receiver/transmitter means no radio on-the-go for me, because I don't have a data plan and I don't plan to sign up for one. One good thing about the Lumia is the free Nokia Music Store streaming. I just hope it's not a 1-year subscription with no way of getting back the music after you change both your computer and your phone (like the case for my Comes With Music 5800).
The weight of the device puts me off, however. My N8 is already heavy at 135g. The Lumia is going to be 185g. That's almost a 40% increase in weight. Well, at least there's a (much) greater increase in the CPU speed and RAM. I suppose the only accurate way to compare this is if you compared it to other popular smartphones in the market.
With all that's said and done, I'm looking forward to getting the Nokia Lumia 920, but it sucks that I can't recontract with Starhub until May 2013. That probably means that I won't be getting the Lumia 920. Did I really wait THAT long after the release date to get the N8? Argh. I don't even remember my N8 being so new. Well, I don't NEED to change my N8. I've just fallen in love (at first sight) with the Lumia 920, that's all.
Would Nokia send me a free Lumia 920 if I promise to provide regular feedback to them? Pretty please?
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