I wonder...

I wonder how many people actually come here.
I wonder how I'm gonna catch up with the rest of the school.
I wonder how I'm supposed to get off Audi.
I wonder what's the FAM blog link.
I wonder why my handwriting is so uncontrollably GOOD.
I wonder why I think my handwriting is good.
I wonder why I'm lying about my handwriting here.
I wonder why I'm so lazy.
I wonder why if I'm so lazy, I'm still doing this.
I wonder if I have selective laziness.
I wonder why you start sleeping at 10am in the morning.
I wonder why I'm sleeping at 4am in the morning.
I wonder why we have to sleep earlier.
I wonder what happened between certain people.
I wonder if I will ever ask what happened. Probably not.
I wonder if I could take that news. What would come after it?
I wonder if the 4-letter L word is overrated.
I wonder if everyone else says that word that much, while meaning it.
I wonder the same for the 4-letter H word.
I wonder if everything is just a farce.
I wonder if I'll wake up from this dream.
I wonder if I'll wake up from this dream, happy.
I wonder if I can stay in this dream.
I wonder what will happen to everything.
I wonder if what he said is true.
I wonder if what she said was true.
I wonder if what you say is true.
I wonder if anyone ever wonders this much.
I wonder if anyone ever wonders this much without really wanting the answers.
I wonder if anyone thinks I'm emo.
I wonder if I'm emo.
Nah.
I wonder how, I wonder why~ Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky.

Lalalala

Went to search for pirates' blog after conference yesterday. And... I tried -ABC-Pirates. Hoho, no results on google. So i searched DeUnknowns. Wow, 2nd one that came up was pirates' blog. Cool. But even cooler was that I saw my own blog on there (this 'sort of' abandoned blog). Wow, the other more active blog not listed on the first page at all. A tad ironic. Anyway i also found WIL's blog. WHOOT! But really, never update one. Not that I'm in any position to comment about letting a blog rot.

Well well well, this is the 1st post of the year here. Been dreading school for the last few days of holidays. But after going back, was quite high actually. It's quite nice seeing the people you know after so long again. Then our form teacher got us to play this Angel and Mortal game. @.@ Lucky for me, the first time we picked names, there was a sort of botch-up. So we had to redo everything. WHOOT~! Words can't describe how happy I was. Haha, I went 'Oh my-!' right after I opened the slip of paper and saw the name, by the way.

And I think I'm getting sick from all the CNY goodies. Getting an abnormal increase in the amount of salt in my body, from all the cashew nuts. And I'm sort of losing my voice. I miss shouting commands... Listened to 'The Final Countdown' a few days back and now it's transferred to my phone. Reminded me of NHNP FDC. And I remember last time Sir Edwin (haha yes I still call them Sir and Ma'am) played us the song and was saying something like 'The opening very seh/nice but when the guy starts singing...' then everyone laughed. But that was sort of our trademark and I don't think we'll ever forget the song.

Oh yeah, Crunchyroll has been barring us from watching Gintama. So now it's like we can only see that the videos have been posted but we're unable to watch. How nice. I miss new Gintama episodes...

Anyway, should probably work hard from now on. Or at least keep at the same pace as the school, which is quite reasonable, if you don't mind not being able to relax. But this is A levels year, so I should probably get away from AuditionSEA. Wahaha, I actually typed out the full name. AuditionSEA!!! That's a sure sign I'm going insane from school.

Does the title matter?

Even before PW was over, had been thinking about creating all these pics and making a new blogskin. Cause since the last post, I've seen that my posts no spacing AT ALL!

I feel kinda idiotic at this. Created a new background with the pic I took at the Esplanade. Well I took it at the Esplanade but it doesn't feature the Esplanade. Lol it's the Singapore Flyer. No intention of even going up there. Singapore, what to see? Try the London Eye.

Anyway, blogger preview really isn't working for me. Had to save template then load the cranberryriver.blogspot.com to preview. -.- Don't know if it's just me though.

And I still can't get the background to squeeze in the window without the scrolling effect. Can't get it to fix there for don't know what reason. I'm an idiot at this, I guess. No matter. It's just for fun anyway.

I'm getting bored... I think I'm not getting enough sleep. Sleep too late and wake up too early (relatively). 8hours of sleep isn't enough for me. I suspect this lack of ability to continue sleeping is due to the long exposure to PW. Grrrr... I shall remember the days I couldn't sleep simply because i had so much work to do.

This just sucks

Feel quite emo now.

People are leaving. one after another. Feel quite contradicted and disappointed that 1 simple thing can lead to so many.
Expected this actually, when it first started.
But was quite surprised nonetheless when it first happened.
Feel quite third-party and insignificant when people decide to make decisions just like that without thinking about others.
Even now, it's like the rest of us are insignificant and it doesn't impact us. It does. And now we see the effect.
Maybe I'll feel better after blogging. It's not a big deal anyway (by right).
Felt better after talking to someone more mature, another third party like me.
This whole incident just seems so trivial and yet the impact seems monumental to me.
I'm taking things too hard (been told this by 4 people already. i don't need another)
I can't guarantee I will stay, but I don't want to leave too.
So now I'm releasing all these frustrations here and locking it away on the Internet. Isn't this very ironic?

-So now that's it? We've gone our separate ways? No goodbye, no nothing?
It seems everything that has been built up has been discarded; just flung out the window.

-Even though you say who stays is what matters, I don't think many of those that matter will stay.

mugger

hoho... second day of jae then sprain leg liao. hmmm wuite unfortunate. missed the dance party although i didnt like the mass dance there. preferred jj one. so high, then they teach they will smile one... not like the first intakes who just teach, teach, and teach. like rushing through like that. really couldnt catch loh. anyway, went back for jj night. actually i went for jj afternoon. went to the doctor's again. grrr she told me the blood vessel or something of my feet burst. felt so sad lah. a bit shocked loh. so now i can sort of see spots of purple on my feet. eeewww. lucky its fainting now. hope it WILL be better after 3 days. hmmm. ive been limping throughout my days in nj liao. they must think im weird or something. hope not. so now im in a class with only 5 guys. quite sad actually, a bit no life in the class. dont really click well with the rest of the class except for a few. this just feels weird loh. maybe sort of like in sec 1 and 2. when i was a freshman. plain weird because i practically can run anywhere in class when i was in 403 lah. and even in 08s13 in jj i anyhow squeeze in with the guys when eating. now it just seems weird that i cant fit anymore. the transition is quite big. so sad. 1 ponned 2 chem make up lectures. hope i can really selff study. been doing that for maths. havent really seen what results that will yield. tomorrow i shall begin to mug. T.T

Stupidity

LOL! Blogger made me feel so stupid. Editted some parts of the blog. I clicked the 'save template' button before I previewed it. Panic! It would probably have been nothing because I didn't change the so-called actual HTML part of the 'whole HTML'. And so, I clicked the 'Preview' button to find... the blog totally screwed. Text was all over the place. The spaces allotted for each section wasn't taken into consideration AT ALL. It was just spilling all over the place. Blog on top of introduction, blog posts overflowing to the bottom of the page. TOTAL DISASTER! I was like '(O.o)' and that wasn't a look of surprise. It was one of horror. Utter horror. So I thought Mozilla was playing me again. I went and opened Internet Explorer. SAME PROBLEM! Goodness me! Went to My Computer to try to search for my current blogskin HTML. Clever me didn't save it the last time. And this time, there wasn't any 'Publish' button we needed to click in order for the saved changes to be displayed. Nuh-uh, not like last time. Anyway, I resigned to fate. I went to my blog via Mozilla again. The blogspot address, mind you. And there it is, perfectly in order! Just to make sure that Mozilla wasn't lagging on me again, I switched to IE. And THERE IT IS AGAIN! Hoho. That was stupid. ARGH!

random

its a wonder sometimes when your friends dont know what you think about something. i just hide too much i guess. wonder if i'll burst someday. links are made from one person to another. I dont know why. i dont really think anyone will know what i mean and who i mean. everyday i will see that person and that persons friends will just be trying to link that person to another. isnt it normal to talk to a person? so what if the person is of opposite gender? our class is just like that. or rather, our class guys are just like that. youre lucky that you chanced upon this blog. its no big show that i have this blog. its not supposed to be seen by just anybody. but ironically, someone surfing on blogger might see this but a classmate wouldn't be able to do so easily. sometimes i just feel tired of something that i have to post it here. sometimes i have happy news, sometimes i have sad ones. im especially angry at some teacher who spewed nonsense to a classmate's parents. she just exaggerated about what kind of trouble my classmate was in. the problem is, half the school is in that kind of 'trouble'. what with not tucking in their shirts and eating outside of the canteen. eating outside the canteen... if its not allowed, does that mean that we can't consume food outside of school? im not saying that its not partly my friend's fault. but that the teacher doesnt need to exaggerate and blow things out of proportion. i hope my friend's okay. seems fine the next day. i hope thats not only apparent.

Malaysia trip

Whoot~! The Malaysia trip was great! Had lots of fun with all my friends. The bigger part of the reason was because it was with people with the cca. We've been together for 3 years now. We aren't alien to each other and most importantly, we don't stay in cliques. We are a big clique ourselves. We walk together on the streets. We have a gender mixture. To start off, we assembled in school at around 6. Jiacheng was of course late. He only arrived when we were filling up the white immigration forms. The girls took an average of two cards each. Then, we were still separated guys-girls wise. Jiacheng was punished to carry the first aid box for the whole trip. We boarded the bus and passed the customs at around 7.30am. The second bus was shiok, man. It was a 25+ seater bus that was like grassland express. The tour guide said that we could sleep if we wanted to so even as he was talking, a lot of us fell asleep. The bus was just too comfortable. We arrived at the place for our breakfast. I spotted a 7-eleven and i regret not buying Pringles there because I later found out that the minimart at our hotel sold it at 7.50RM compared to the 2.50RM at that store. Anyway, we ate and continued on the journey. We continued to sleep and someone requested for the tour guide to play DVDs. The guys at the back of the bus, directly behind me and Stella's seats, stayed up to watch the NC-16 movie. Yes, NC-16. We were rudely awakened by the guys' hootings. obviously, the movie had reached its NC-16 part. Anyway, the girls woke up and watched the movie until our next comfort stop. Then we continued with our journey. We arrived at some place where we saw something like an estate of mansions. We ate at the restaurant next to it. The girls sat with the officers and we were very cramped as there was an extra seat which none of the waiters bothered to remove. I refuse to comment on the food. Anyway we went on the journey. I believe the next stop was F.R.I.M. Some forest research thing. There, we climbed up the forest. It was there that I realised I really needed some exercise. But the others were also perspiring like mad when we finally reached the canopy. I believe it was because of the humid air which was caused by the transpiring plants. We got on the canopy walkway, you can imagine how high we climbed. We had to climb some steps in a 'house' to get to the walkway and gosh, the steps were almost 90 degrees to the ground. It was like a ladder instead of stairs. I got on the walkway with the third group. The first step was bad. We proceeded and reached the first tree which could hole 4 people. We continued to the second one. The path to the second tree was terrifying. I was shaking a lot and I had to walk very slowly. I reached the second tree which could accomodate 8 people. I found that I couldn't face the challenge of walking to the 3rd tree. I walked back and found one of my friends crying. Something came over me and I followed her on the bridge BACK to the 2nd tree. I then made my way back to the forest directly. I didn't stop to chat at the first tree. Anli who was behind me was shaking the walkway and even Xingrong asked him not to shake it. We waited for the rest of the people to get back and we made our way back down. This time, the journey wasn't so tiring but it was scarier. Especially for me because I was wearing track shoes that were slippery. I was lucky because I didn't fall. But one of my friends fell, on flat land. We continued UP another path to the nature trail. We were introduced to many different types of plants. It was a pity we didn't get to see the fungus glow. We went to the 'postcard view' which was magnificent. It was also where the 'tongkat ali plant' was. We took photos there and went down. We arrived at a pond where there lived 5 dragonfish, one of which grew to a great height. I don't remember, but it was definitely huge. We then went to the most relaxing part of FRIM. The slideshow. I brought drinks in which we bought at the souvenir shop. The guy was friendly and we were at the receiving end of a lot of jokes. We did tell him some jokes too. HE asked us waht we should do if we saw a tiger. Someone said spray tiger repellant. Tiger balm came to mind. Pretty funny what happened there. We set off for... dinner! Dinner: it was better than lunch. We were at sort of a seafood restaurant. Everything was nice. Except the crab and the vegetable which I didn't have the chance to taste because xinxuan and xiuying grabbed everything they could from that plate. Nobody looked interested in the veggies except them anyway. Back to the crab, it wasn't an easy task trying to get the shell cracked. Especially with a hammer which most Singaporeans don't use for this purpose. The best dish was something that looked like chicken and tasted lilke chicken or pork. Yes... The tour guide walked towards us and asked what we thought that was. He then said it was better not to know. Haha... Sunny asked one of the waitresses what it was and she said she didn't know. She then referred us to another more experienced waiteress. She told us it was... a mantis! Wow... What did we swallow down our throats??? But it turns out to be something like a shrimp. Whew~! That was a relief. We got on the bus to the fireflies watch. The fireflies were flying around the trees making them look like christmas trees. But too bad civilisation has made them decrease in numbers. But never mind, I shall continue. We got our life jackets and found out that they were for children. Yes, children. That's why it was so small! Well we changed to the adult life jackets and walked on the bridge to the sampans. The way down to the sampans was slippery and I almost fell. Yes. We got on the boat and I was forced to sit in the front row AFTER I was about to sit in the second row. I got next to jieheng who was beside ms lim. The trip was quiet and slow. We saw many christmas trees (fireflies on the trees). The trip was long and we weren't supposed to disturb the fireflies. But we also did talk and chatted because it was a long way back to the shore. We then went to the souvenir shop where there was a lot of cats. One was sitting on a car that still had a hot engine. It was right in front of the windscreen. JinXing was playing with it while we entered the shop. I think he was still playing with it when we came out. I wanted to play with it but I didn't want to go find the toilet to wash my hands. But I caught sight of another cat which I had seen before the fireflies. It was a cute siamese! But when I went there, it had crawled away and I saw another one which was black with white patches. It was so friendly that when I called it, it came towards me! Gosh! I couldn't resist touching it. Luckily the toilet was just where the cat was. So I played with it and when me and Ginseng went on the bus, stella didn't allow us to go near her even though I was sitting next to her and ginseng was sitting behind me. We were then finally travelling towards the hotel. Grand Seasons Hotel! It was a long trip. Jerome took out his ipod and blasted music but the music was occasionally cut off because of the lack of battery power. We were singing along to all the songs we knew and there was this song 'Graduation'. It was such a sad song that it somehow changed the mood. But we were still singing to it. We were about to reach the hotel when we found out that the car following us lost its was. We had to go one big round to find them and take them to the hotel. I wonder if it was mr see or mr liu who was driving. We took a group photo and went up to rest. Sort of. Our rooms were on the 29th floor. It was wonderful. Sort of like most of the better hotels I've been in. The first thing I touched inside the hotel was the computer. But it was not functioning. Lucky for me because we found out that it was chargeable. We washed up and went down to the minimart which sold things at astronomical prices. One can of pringles was priced at 7.50RM in contrast to what was sold at 7-eleven. We weren't allowed to go out of the hotel and so we ventured to the snooker room where they still served meals. Us girls couldn't stand the fumes that were coming our of smokers' mouths and decided to leave. We took some photos and went up. We went to Jieheng and Jerome's room and played cards. We even resorted to playing memory game when we got tired of Big2. The room next door was playing UNO and they managed to disturb all of us. They finally decided to sleep and it was more peaceful. It was 2am then. The rest of the party went to me and stella's room to continue playing until 4am. At 4am, there was still anli, xinrong, sunny, wanyi, ken, jerome, stella, me and chenyu. Anyway, we woke up in the morning (me at 6.30am because I was freezing) at 7am. Well, for the others it was more like 7.20 because they couldn't wake up. Me, I was jumping around not because I was feeling enthusiastic but because I was trying to create some warmth. Chenyu woke up and got back to her designated room. Then Stella and Wanyi woke up. We got ready for breakfast and stella and the others disappeared and I went down with Ginseng and Letts. There was a queue and the first thing I saw that was edible was (yuck!) rice! Gosh! Why would I in the right frame of mind eat rice in a hotel breakfast? But I still took it because the next dish was also from nasi lemak. Then I saw noodles... Very funny joke. I walked to the far end and saw cereal! Yes! I put my plate on our table and went back to get cereal. That was the only thing I could get in my stomach that morning. I left a lot of rice and noodles uneaten even after I drank the guava juice that was supposed to be an appetiser. In the end, I had no choice but to eat cereal, not that it was that bad. I ate 4 bowls and left with a contented stomach. But before we left, the guys did some idiotic things. They challenged each other to finish bowls after bowls of cereal and the loser had to drink an additional bowl of milk (that sometimes had people's finger dipped into it). They ended up eating around 5 bowls of cereal. We went up and played and packed and went down for our shopping trip. I started out enthusiastic about that but when I went back, I was *angry*. But at least my anger was eased off. I was following Zhixin and Wanyi. Then Xiuying, xinxuan, and chenyu joined us. XX pulled chenyu down and I followed because I didn't want to try out clothes. I was there for shoes. xx complained that she was tired and wanted to go to coffee bean to rest. Me, I wanted to look for the rest of the girls and Chenyu went off in front of me when xx refused to budge. She went so fastt that when I turned to look at what xx was pointing at, she was gone. I couldn't find her and we saw stella and her aunt. xx followed them and I was forced to tag along as I didn't have a means of communication then. We reached the second floor and that was when they decided to go down. I didn't want to leave without chenyu and I stayed behind (partly also because I wanted to catch the rest of the girls). Nobody cared! They just walked on down. They walked a big round before I spotted them and joined them again. They settled at coffee bean and chenyu joined us. We walked back to Times Square and me and chenyu got separated fromm stella, her aunt and xx again. But never mind, me and chenyu went around the shopping centre and enjoyed ourselves more than when we were at sungei wang. Even though we didn't buy anything, window shopping was nice too. We met the others and found that some of the guys bought more things than us (we didn't buy anything anyway). We went to restaurant where nobody had an appetite at our table. Ken simply didn't eat anything. Interesting fact, Ken and Chenyu look alike. They look like siblings! It was sad that we didn't take any pictures of them together. We also celebrated mrs lee's birthday which was supposed to be the next day. We bought a cake and the teachers bought a watch. We then went on to a famosa, christ church, st paul's hill and studhuys. It was tiring but not as tiring as the forest trek. After that, we went to Tan Kim Hock local products. We had the durian chendol which had durian that tasted sour. Maybe it was my tastebuds as others didn't look like they were affected. I didn't plan to buy anything there as someone told me that the prices there were astronomical. However, I received a call earlier and my mom asked my what I got her. That made me decide to buy something. I chose durian cake and began to walk around. I saw a lot of stuff that looked good. In the end, I bought back durian cake, sasame [something] (it was real nice), some biscuit with honey peanuts on them(real nice too), and some [don't know what it was called but I later found out that it was sold in Singapore too]. I also bought a packet of popping candy which I ate in the bus. Some were left for the ants. We watched the replay of pirates on the way back. It was the way back to Singapore. We reached the Malaysia Customs and were informed that it was advisable not to go to the toilet there by the tour guide. Anli couldn't hold and had to go. But in the end, we still made record time and the tour guide told us we broke the record of passing the customs. we cleared it under 1minute. I didn't believe him. I didn't believe anli could come out so quickly. Haha. Anyway, we were caught in a really bad jam that only happens to tour buses. We played a game of UNO and it was amazing that we couldn't finish the game before we reached the customs. We were checked and finally had a chance to go to the toilet. We went back to school and dropped off some people. The bus uncle agreed to drive us to central and that was where we had our dinner cum supper. It was 11pm when we reached. I called my dad and he picked me up at Mac where I was still eating. ~End of Story~

This monstrosity

This monstrosity we call a teacher is getting on my nerves. I can't seem to shake it off. Once I open my chemistry book, I think of her. When I usually study, I tend to feel very sleepy. Now, when I study chemistry, I just feel restless. I walk out of the room like a zombie and I FEEL like one at that. I went to the kitchen and didn't know why I went there. There wasn't anything for me to eat to de-stress. It all began last friday. SHE went around taking our wallets because our files were not done properly. Okay... but she severely hurt the pride of one of my friends. What did she do I didn't know exactly. But I did hear something about taking away her rank. Doesn't she know that there is absolutely nothing in relation with your school work and your CCA rank? After school we went to find her to get our files, to know what was wrong with them. Huishan had her file done and went to her. SHE refused her file and told her to wait for everybody to finish before she could go as she had cut the queue. However, there was no queue. She expected huishan to wait for everybody to finish before going home, before she could even present her file to HER. Then she wanted us to check the files of another class for her. She claimed that we made her do extra work for us, she would have to make us do extra work for her. Seeing the pile of files that was in front of us, I suspect that she didn't even check the files for us. Was marking corrections extra work? Does she even know what was required for teachers? Putting aside the requirements, does she even know what teachers were expected to do? Shouldn't she be taking lessons from our geog teacher? Heck, and I didn't even know she pinned up the content page on the notice board for us to copy. And there she says I give her extra work to do. Anyway, I finished my share of the files and went to her, politely. Me and another girl went in after her to get our belongings. She got out the box which had scotch tape marks. She said that we should only get our belongings back when everyonoe was done. 'See, once i tear this, the box is spoiled already.' I was thinking, never mind, I could come back later to get my stuff because I was supposed to have NP which was later cancelled. That was lucky because knowing her, she would think of me as a defiant student and would not let me have my belongings until after the last person was done, which was after 7pm. That's what's wrong with her, her pride. In the classroom that day, she scolded a girl for using her phone. She made her cry. Yes, she did that, but she didn't even look a bit sorry for that. That girl was the same girl I went in the staff room with. SHE began lecturing BOTH of us in the staff room about using our phones in class. She opened her eyes as if they could shoot daggers at us. She looked at her, then she looked at me, then she looked at her again. This carried on for quite a while. When we finally got back our belongings, she asked us to show her those were ours. She found out who I was. Then she said slowly, 'Wei Qi ah... Your chemistry is not very good ah...' I looked down. Yes, I looked down. Was I supposed to retaliate that I only didn't do well for chemical calculations and keep my friend back too? That wouldn't be a very nice thing to do. For all I know, she might be in a hurry to get home. So I did what I had to do. Which was not very nice for me but was right. After that last statement, we went out of the staff room. Someone was still standing there. She stood up to HER just now and was made to stand there non-productively. I forgot what she said but SHE just didn't want to tolerate students who could not stand her methods. It's a two-way thing. She just could not tolerate with the fact that she could be wrong. Take for example all the things that she has done to her students. She reprimanded us for being late. She reprimanded another class for not knowing they had practical that day and for goiong down late at that. Yet another class was punished by her for not bringing their books. She did not give chances. What she claimed was chances was what other teachers consider as necessities when they themselves were at fault. So in other words, her mistakes were our chances. She shows no compassion. When she talks to us, she intimidates us. She makes us feel like we are a bunch of people that are not at her standard. She uses her 'dagger shooting' eyes to her advantage. That is her tool and she doesn't hesitate to operate it 24/7. However, her downfall would be her pride. She doesn't take no for answers. What she does has to be right. She holds to her so-called honour. She doesn't give leeways to students when they do something she doesn't want done. Just because she made a rule on the first lesson, we have to comprehend and abide by it. She doesn't even keep to the rules sometimes. She always says she was held up, but when our teachers release us late for her lesson, she would 'confront' them. She thinks that by standing firmly by her rules, she is full of principle and would be honourable. Well honour is not gained by that. An honourable person is someone who is respected. She doesn't have her students' respect, that I can safely say.

Revamped, Refurbished!

Yes! I neglected my homework to refurbish this. Currently, I still have around 60 questions left for my TYS. This is bad... Seriously bad... Nevertheless, I shall not give up the fight against homework. I even stayed home today instead of accompanying them to the fireworks display, but that was because I was so exhausted that I didn't even feel like waking up to watch TV. And here I am in the wee hours of the morning typing relentlessly. Heck! I just realised I've been listening to the same song for the past half hour! I really wonder how I'm going to memorise facts and songs for common test and the upcoming ATC. Just recently, a chinese phrase has popped up into my head. San1 fen1 zhong1 re4 du4. This phrase has indeed made me realise just how it is applicable to me. I realised that I haven't been helping out in the ORD proposal after they've cancelled the FDC, although I don't really think that's a factor in this dismissed thought from my head. Then there comes the recently received maths sums. I was really into doing the sums the day before. However, ever since I finished drawing (and re-drawing by accident) the graphs, I don't feel like continuing with it anymore. Maybe I should gone for the fireworks display... Nahhh...

What now?

Hm. Now what? I've nothing to do. Or rather, I have a pile of work waiting for me but I don't want to get it over and done with. My work has been slacking. I really shouldn't put the word 'procratinator' in my msn nick. It's influencing me even more. That is especially bad with me being in 303. The people in my class are all pros. Thus, being in this class has its cons. What I find disturbing is that most of our teachers haven't 'unleashed their full potential' yet. Our form teacher has made a name of herself not just in our class. People have been complaining that a Bio teacher shouldn't be teaching Physics at the same time. Well, I gotta say I'm lucky she does not have the qualifications to teach us Physics. Otherwise both my Bio and Physics standards will drop like my Bio now. The only subjects I'm willing to think about is my Physics and Social Studies. My primary school teacher will probably kill me if she found out that i barely passed my English common test. Maybe BLim will too. I can't wait till Mrs Sing's maternity leave is up, not that I'm a sadist or anything. It's for the good of everyone in my class. English lessons are no longer an appeal to me. Neither is Maths even though we've got, I consider, the best Maths teacher in my school. Lessons now are a bore. At the beginning of the year, I had changed my view on Chinese. Chinese lessons was interesting then. Now, it's just a period where we sit and the lessons keep transforming themselves. Our trainee teacher is the third teacher who 'scolded' me in my life in this high school. First is my sec 1 form teacher, then it's Surin. After that, it's her. I Do take notes. It's just that my notes need to be reviewed before I fully understand what it means. And the meanings are written in the kind of Chinese that i do NOT understand at all. The way i translate them to english is simply crappy. In the end, I can't re-translate them to chinese. I hate this feeling. I feel inferior.

The jury has decided: my kid cousin is annoying. Know why i feel so good at camp? I didn't have to see my cousin who's putting up at my humble. Even though we have been punished to run around the parade square after PT for 8 times while carrying the flag, running form NP room to GO, doing 50 pumpings, and doing 50 jumping jacks, I am content with just not having to listen to her voice, begging for me to let her use the computer and acting smart. When she plays the Sims, she keeps asking me whether I have seen the objects in the game. I mean, I was the one who downloaded the objects! What was more, she kept asking and asking. When i said yes, she asked if I had seen another. What was the matter with her? Can't she just give up? When she plays MapleStory, she keeps asking me to help her delete her characters, I refuse. When i finally agree to it, I make her feel guilty because it is such a tedious job. She forgets her passwords for maple, hotmail and asiasoft. I had to retrieve her passwords for so many times. I wasn't born to do such things! When i came back from camp and were alone, she told me that the snowboard drops were over when i already knew. She then told me that there was a patch which I ALSO already knew. I have given up letting her play the computer. Now... To the happy stuff... No wait, there's no happy stuff! None for now, anyway.

People are totally ruining my life! I was happy with my life when I came in to NH. However, I now found friend who were even more naive than those in primary school. Just because i talk to a guy, they claim that I am flirting with him. They spread rumours about me and him. Friday, one of them actually called him when he passed by and asked if he liked me loudly. It was so loud that the people in the classroom all heard. Most of them were guys even. There was even one from another class in NP! I was utterly shocked and humiliated. I threatened to throw her bag down to the second floor. I asked her if she had forgotten that i gave her the cookie to keep her quiet. She dared say that a cookie could not supress her. She was beggingfor me to return her her bag then. I asked her to swear that she would never ever talk about anything that would harm me in any way at all. I returned her bag. End of story.

I want to get good results for my streaming this year, so I'm sitting here typing in my blog. Don't get me wrong. It's not sarcastic language. I really do think that writing helps improve my language skills. Sadly, it's not in the correct language. I need help for chinese. Then I ask myself, Does it matter what language it is in? I'm crapping anyway. I tell myself. It doesn't really matter.

lame

im doing this here thing as i cant get to maplesea. it is lame. well i just came back from camp some 2 days ago. camp was slack. first day, we had 30minutes to pack lunch and dinner for camp at changi. mad. we hiked a long way and top speed to the NPCC campsite. there, we had to eat lunch and get separated into groups. me, felicia, jie heng and edmund were in the same group. we had to separate again when we had to pitch the tents. they wanted use to find 5 people from different schools and we ended up pitching tents we were not sleeping in. the people i was working with had no idea how to pitch tents or split work. me and another girl from new town did most of the work. i ended up with 2 blisters from pegging. burst one. the hurting lasted throughout camp. the tent a pitched was the worse tent in the sense that it was in the worst position in the whole campsite. it was the nearest to the trees and thus, resulted in a lot of insects. i was lucky that i did not have to sleep there throughout the camp. after we had our dinner, we were split into our tents in groups this time. i finally had someone i knew in the tent. that night before bed, there was a treasure hunt. we found a loaf of bread. that was the only clue we solved. the other teams that found all the clues harly got anything. we then had our shower which we had to wait a long time for as a lot of people were missing. i thought for sure tht we were going to get punished for it. however, we didnt. i then realised that either the ATC standard has dropped or they were just lying tht ATC was tough. all through the night we could not sleep. a lot of people were chatting. moreover, in the middle of the night, there was music playing! man... plus we heard the boys getting scolded. the instructors were mad. the second morning, we did not have PT. think that was because a lot of people were praying for rain. well it rained at 5+ when we were supposed to have PT. having to activate wet weather, we rushed to the canteen at 5.30am. which was 1/2 hour early. seeing that its was raining, the instructors asked us to go back to sleep and fall in at 7. that is cool. so we spent the morning having breakfast and after that, having our ATF. i forgot what it meant. we had the mini ropes course. simin and zhixin were the best at that. zhixin made it across everything quickly while simin sort of shook her way there without any support. now that's what's being cool. after that was the maze. some sortof maze. we had to really (not just practically) feel our way around. it was so dark that closing your eyes would make no difference except that it would make your eyes more comfortable. after the dark maze, there was a shooting game. it was pretty lame. teamwork, communication and cooperation. ha. well we went back for lunch, late as usual. it wasnt our fault that we were group 9 and were released last. well we certainly did not have time to cook. all i had was a can of sardine and a fruit bar. that was pretty pathetic. well we then had out survival course. it was boring but enriching. we learnt a lot of things there. things like not panicking, improvising and observing. we learnt how to make traps and get water. later, we went to the beach and were made to cook coconut rice and orange egg. we aso had to make some paisha thing which was a shade. our group's shade was the best. however, the coconut rice was not cooked as the guys were to lazy to dig out the flesh. the orange egg had a hole in the first orange and thus we had to get a second one. the second was burnt and we had to get it out of the fire. in the end, we dropped it. it became sandy-side-up-orange-egg. we went back to the campsite where we had our pioneering. we had to make a diagonal lashing and a square lashing. felicia was taking me too seriously. i think she was fed up with me. she looked like she thought that i was a know-it-all. when i offered to help, she looked like she didnt want my help and thought that i thought she was inferior. tht was pretty stupid. anyway, later we had to make a catapult. our catapult could not stand but due to the complicated catapults of group 7 and 8, our team won with a covered distance of 2m. group 7 threw 2 balls of twine and gorup 8 threw the twine backwards. we then went for our shower at the dorms. where the teachers were staying. we were the first ones in. we got ready for campfire. we were lucky that we did not have to perform tht night. edmund, jieheng, me and felicia were sitting together. before campfire, jieheng told me that he would have killed darrin if he went to the camp. he wanted to sit next to a CHIJ girl at the SANA course but darrin had got to the seat first. better luck next time jieheng. and wasnt wanyi enough? whatever. at the campfire, i forgot a lot of songs. jieheng next to me was like singing with recognition to every song. and some idiot was telling idian jokes when an indian guy was sitting in front. sure he was funny, but he was loud too. we were sure lucky the instructors didnt come up and scold up. the ubin wave was funny. at our section, the screams were low moans while at the middle sections, it was high pitched and the people were really screaming. the performances were funny. especially the 'i ask my love' where they acted it out and the 'when you're happy and you know it' they changed the actions. then we had the friendship dance. i kept stepping on people's toes. sorry. the next morning, PT was cancelled gain due to rain. woohoo. we were lucky. we were suppossed to fall in at 6am and it rained at 5.50+am. that was really sheer luck. we had breakfst in the canteen. then a really cadet-looking mdm (hey, she had plaits) asked us to gather all the messtins and stoves and solid fuels. we lost some messtins and stoves. we were expecting punishments but there were none. the instructirs just helped find the missing items. we had to fall in after the rain and it was really hot. the groups in front did not want to sit down as the ground was wet. however, our group sat and it was refreshing. we were sitting on the cold ground in the hot sun. we had to wash the tent sheets. fortunately, it rained again and we were stranded in the building away from the canteen. we did not have to wash the stuff. the instructors were sleeping there and we dared to sleep while the others were busy washing the things. we then had to wipe the sheets dry and then we got to fall in again. kaisiang was awarded best male camper for sec 3. after that, we fell in in units and had to trek back to the jetty. we got to board the boat first as ACS(I) sort of fell out with their NCOs. too bad huh. it was such a long queue we jumped. well we got back to the jetty of the island of singapore. i was the first to attempt to get down fromm the boat this time. i was so darn scared that i would fall into the water. well all those people who were disappointed, too bad for you, i didn't. we had to have our belongings checked like when we are flying overseas. then we had to go up and fall in in the rain. when they were happy, we went back to shelter. that was when i saw wendy and junling in windbreakers. that was also when i knew that they were sick. that was what the NCOs got for making us walk back in the rain. rain, not drizzle. a lot of people fell asleep in the bus, including me. i kept having to refrain myself, or rather my head, from knocking into xiuying who was beside me. i woke myself up when i almost bumped into her and she was staring at me. i felt pretty stupid. and glad that i wasn't sitting next to a guy. i have to apologise to xiuying for bruising her head with my wooden pole. i'll try not to next time.

i have absolutely nothing to post about... urgh... well a good friend cum class chairman is gone now... wish we could go to the airport tomorrow to send him off... pon lesson... pon NP... nice... but we were really upset when he left... amber cried... not using him you know... anyway... if anyone reads this... please send your regards to jui chih... he's flying off tomorrow... and good luck too for my cousin who's taking his o levels this year... since my sciece test is over, i needn't worry about a thing... so i can give him all the good luck... ha... not all... im a selfish kid... yea thats me...

i have no idea

i have no idea... neither do you... until i tell you what i have no idea about... that is... what i dont understand is why UNoHu keeps trying to provoke our form teacher... its not that i like her... sure... she can be unreasonable at time... however... i think that UNoHu is simply trying to show off that she does not like ms wong... she keeps saying that ms wong is biased... if she is indeed biased, she would be towards the girls instead of the boys as she, herself, is a female... waht crap is UNoHu trying to be? she keeps trying to turn the class against ms wong... and what a reporter... she refused to let someone else write about the depression rate of the class... even when the person is right, she refused... how selfish is that...? plus... that column was supposed to be used to write homework! now, she has dedicated the whole column to her stupid, selfish need to satisfy her hunger to be a reporter... she keeps trying to put others down... show that they are inferior to her...

promotion test

Well... Promotion test was really pathetic actually. San San and Mun Fong were our testers... With Mun Fong, we would score better. But with San San, we would score ridiculously low. Sir was more relaxed. More laid-backed. He would also be more lenient. Mam was strict and serious. All that with the high expectations thing. A Replica of Melisa? Sure, it's not who your tester is that will affect your performance. Well you got that wrong for sure. Mam just being there would make you feel nervous. The slightest mistake and you get booked for it. She just has a sort of way of making people feel nervous. She said that the whole squad's performance was not up to standard. Well of course it wasn't! With you there it wouldn't be in a million years! She said that the Privates were especially bad. At least we LCPs would relax a little. However, i thought that the squad's drills were at least 3rd class standard now, what with all the solid bangs. But noooooo... Some said I would pass CPL test. However, i don't have the 3rd class drill badge required to pass. And I wouldn't be able to get it this year, again.

holidays huh

Hmmm... Actually the holidays has already almost flown into non-existance... not like it was existant before. So here i am posting with a... few months?... gap from my last post. I figured I'm not gonna finish posting about my trip to US so I'm gonna leave it at that. Yep. So i could have been doing my homework now but nooooo... Instead, i'm typing at my computer. Nice. Real nice. so i've only got my pile of homework left. No big. and i've got until tomorrow to finish it. Great. And I can't go to the movies with my old friends. So darn fine. So i can't see my old friends anymore. Mind you, they ARE my friends, not just acquiantances. Well, most of them anyway. Well... Back to me and my homework... I WOULD have been faser in getting my work doen if i had the thing to start it off with. However, the thing I had in mind was missing. Missing a few pages to be exact. Ok, ok... A lot of pages were missing! 33 pages. Well that's nice. So now i have to go to the bookshop and complain about the book. I hate complaining. It brings the otherwise happy world to a hatred-filled world. The Aunty will probably hate me for complaining about the book. The students in line after me will probably hate me for holding the line up. I will most certainly hate myself for complaining and causing so much hatred in the already hatred-filled place. I feel so depressed. I have work undone. I can't find anything to do except watch Ranma and i feel that i'm wasting my time if I'm watching something. At least if I'm playing, I would at least have a goal. I spent too much time watching Ranma 1/2 today anyway. It's like no end to watching it. Don't get me wrong. Ranma 1/2 isn't something i watch when I'm bored. It's a passion. Well, almost. Inuyasha on the other hand is something i watch when I'm really bored or if i have guests who want to watch it. But I'm not gonna watch the first episode of Inuyasha anymore. 2 times is enough. same for Ranma 1/2. I just don't like the repeat of 1st episodes. They sort of drive you crazy. Especially when they keep repeating the facts in the whole entire series. Charmaine is driving me crazy witih her W-inds obsession. I was obsessed with Ranma 1/2 and Inuyasha. Now I'm rather obsessed with Fullmetal Alchemist. It's not those obsession that you keep asking your friends to listen to their music, or read their manga in this case. It's nice to be in something together. Like obsessing a certain anime or band together. It has the feeling of togetherness. It brings peopole closer. However, if only you take the interest and others pretend to like it, they won't like it when you keep ranting on about it. You should see their faces. It is selfish to make them sit through your incessant rants. You shouldn't be selfish. Like when someone falls, you should help them up. If they managed to sprain their ankle on that fall, you should know that thgey can't stand and if you've had experience with ankle sprains, you should be the one to support them physically to the sickbay or home. If you don't know anything about it, you should let an experienced person do the job. If nobody has had experience, put yourself in the casualty's shoes literally and think how you would want someone to help you. The basic thing is to get the person's legs straightened and hold it to a suitable height away from the ground. If you are just taking someone's injury as an excuse to walk back with the casualty, you are way selfish. Well... I almost completed a book this morning. Almost because it turns out that the book had a lot of pages missing. Argh! Pages missing again. So I've noticed that I have the ability to rattle on and on. Just not verbally. I can write or type something and end up with something completely different. I've just had too much experiences. And they say you are not experienced enough. I wonder how much I would experience when i grow up. I've met a lot of different people along the way. I've met people who did not let anyone have a chance and would not let me off a 1hour maths remedial to go to a NPCC course where only 20 people could go and I was one of them. Those are people who are not sympathetic, Mr Tan. There are people who are blur and make people frustrated with them, Charmaine. They say they want something lent to them and they forget ever asking for it the next day. There are people who are so cynical that they have to comment on everything they see, Jolin. They give sarcastic remarks whenever someone talks to them. There are people who act all lost-puppy in front of sympathetic people, Joyce. They want people to think that they are pitiful and in turn let them have everything. Then there are people who likes to criticise people when they've only done 1 thing wrong or offended him or her, me. However, the world isn't such a hopeless place. There are people who try to understand everything, Yi Ling. They listen to you and share their thoughts with you. They never talk bad about anyone even when you push them to. Even when they don't understand something, they force themselves to understand and put themselves in your shoes. There are people with exceptional memory and put it to good use. They remember what you say and do something for you. They remember that you like a certain band when they've only heard it once and when they come across something with the band on it, they buy it for your birthday present. They wouldn't say anything about the person you dislike in front of you. There are responsible people who does all the unfinished work before the deadline. They work all night just for the team and they manage to escape the wrath of the teacher or boss. There are people who shift all the blame to others. They get into a fight and when someone catches them, they say that the other party started it and make up lies that they were only trying to defend themselves. The rubbish people utter. If there were no lies, the world would be a more peaceful place. However, life would be a daily routine. Sure, there'd be no crimes, but poeple would be put in detention more often.

thinking abt US (SFO)

well... some of you know i went to the US for holiday... want to post... haha... so a lot of jet lag... but i dont think its jetlag leh... i only keep staring at the dinner beacuse i was VERY bored then... no one talks to me (i dont expect anyone to anyway... i would rather they don't) and my dad has to make up such a silly excuse as that i was having jetlag... that made me feel ever so weak... he was the one having jetlag... not me... ok... enough of the jet business... i feel disappointed on that trip... we had brazillian food on the first day... ok... not bad... at least it's south american food... ok... so we went to chinatown of san franisco on the second day... and surprise surprise... we had chinese food! 'hooray'... ok... never mind that... ya well... before that... we went to some ghiradelli square... says they make chocolates there... i actually saw a mustard factory... haha... couldn't have tour as it was thanksgiving... darn? anyway... if you havent noticed, we went to chinatown... ok... well saw a cd shop having a sale... a lot of ppl there... bustling... saw a lot of cds and vcds of anime... but no inuyasha... urgh... saw samurai x and wanted to buy... whole set... but too expensive considering it was shopping in US after all... saw posters of pokemon and clamp detectives and ranma... but left with the 'ugly' ones... so didn't buy... so we then went to the golden gate... pretty boring... it was still afternoon... didn't get on the bridge... took a lot of pictures and clips from the place opposite... a lot of ppl there too... saw the rock (alcatraz)... well... then we went to dad's friend(uncle daniel)'s house to have thanksgiving dinner... saw a REALLY... fat cat... haha... it was cute... but fierce... the dinner was darn bad... it was actually seafood steamboat cum turkey... i have no idea how they can finish a whole turkey with a seafood meal... if you know me well, you would know that i hate seafood... and the turkey tasted terrible... well... i fell asleep on the ride home... ok... day 2... went to downtown SFO... looked around fro viz communications for ranma... found the building but saw that the thing looked closed down... lots of gangsters... well... we went to niketown... darn place... considering the fact that i was wearing an adidas sweater... ok... got lost downtown... just because my dad thought that the person who directed us gave us the wrong address and decided to look at the map himself... believe me, i was fuming... because he kept scolding vulgarities at the person to me... believe me, i don't like ppl who keeps scolding vulgarities at someone who did nothing wrong... i felt we were on the right track... i told my dad... yes... but did he listen? noooooooooo... welll ok... we got the uncle to fetch us again... brought us to japan town and i saw kinokuniya... went in and saw inuyasha collectors guide thingie... bought that... actually saw the 3rd movie in the store... costs a bomb... $68.80 USD... ha... when i went back later, it was gone... i couldn't believe that someone would buy that for the amount they charge... well we had japanese buffet... (asian again) and went back... 3rd day... went for tour of SFO... saw coit tower, lombard street, the rock and all the high lows of SFO... believe me... it was really high lows... the streets were going up and down... i was almost scared half to death... well... we went back to golden gate again and this time we got on the bridge... learnt the history... well... we went to the same house again... saw the cat... same size... (thank goodness) and finally went to have a decent american meal... steak... House of Prime Ribs... they call that... had to wait in line... we waited and waited... i was falling asleep on the couch... finally someone went to check... seemed like they made a mistake and skipped us... darn them... well... the ribs was delicious... but the serving was too large... they had doggy bag service but my dad refused... that was stupid... we could have had it for breakfast... well... 4th day... were supposed to be driving to LA then... but dad's friend fell sick... so had to go to chinatown of all places to look for a bus that goes to LA... they had to find a vietnamese bus... well... whatever... we went to fisherman's wharf... nice place... had real cool shops... bought my san francisco sweater there... it was warm... at least i wont be shivering that much anymore... well... ate at fast food joint In-N-Out... had the best food ive had since i went to US... bought the sims 2 prima donna guide in EB games... real thick... 100% colour pages... (like buying a picture book? nah... had as much word as pictures... maybe more...) well... saw a lot of street performances... went to hard rock cafe... bought a bear... haha... add to my collection... and bought a pin too... add to collection again...