Something is definitely wrong. Crying without a direct impact isn't normal. Feeling emotional without any apparent reason is dangerous. Well at least there's no suicidal tendency. Revenge will definitely be sweet.

The mind plays tricks on us. Mine seems to have too much imagination that isn't released in enough channels. It scares me.

Sometimes things don't work out the way you want it to. I want to be happy, but the happiness seems to be cheerfulness, shortlived.

Sometimes you just can't seem to kick the feeling of loneliness out of your mind, and your heart.

Friends

So who are your real friends?

Those who make you happy by spending time to do things with you that you are happy doing? Those who spend hours chatting with you? Those who don't bother with you unless you're in trouble and need their help? Those who take up any of your crazy suggestions just to be there for you when you get hurt? Those who console you when something bad happpens? Those who entertain you when you can't sleep? Those who beat up the people who hurt you? Those who remind you of your place when you're being mean? Those who point out your mistakes?

Those who need you? Those whom you want to help? Those whom you want to spend time with? Those whom you want to know better?

Bottom line: Friends are people who stay by your side even when you think you don't need them.

Be not envious of others, but be happy with oneself.

Bruises on my hands again. I have a feeling I'm not throwing correctly.

My stomach is growling incessantly. Now I don't know whether I'm supposed to be hungry or not. Because it growls even after a meal. Great.

Macaulay

Sorry, what? Macaulay Duration? I only know Macaulay Culkin.

Life in a capsule

Woke up this morning with my head in an awkward angle. So, as expected, my neck/shoulder was a little tight. I ended up with a neck muscle strain after attempting to stretch. At least that didn't happen in the middle of a game. It happened when i was waiting for sw to invite people in. Good thing is, it's not as tight as when it happened. Bad thing is, it's still tight.

Today was Family Day, well, at least it was at the condo. I like the balloons they hung up across the edge of the swimming pool. Didn't participate in anything because we didn't sign up and/or pay. Haha. But i've realised that my estate still looks as nice as it has been when we first moved in. At least now, i don't notice as many bugs around. Partly because i don't go down much anymore.

Family's still been the same. Dysfunctional.

Friends are getting busy. Finally watched Liar Game on Friday, with Chenyu. And Finally ate pizza at Pizza Hut. Yeah, it rained again that day. Same as the day when jing and i tried to eat at pizza hut. My shoes are getting bigger the more they get soaked with rainwater. I'm beginning to hate rainy days.

I want a cat. I'd like a tabby but dad wants a siamese. I don't know. A tabby looks cute fat, but i can't picture a fat siamese. They look far too sophisticated, in my opinion.

Maple is stealing time away from my school work. I want to quickly max out my fire arrow and reach poison brace, but that's quite far away. I don't want maple to be a chore, seriously.

I want to join a cca. Preferably ultimate frisbee. But i don't think i have the stamina, anymore.

Life is cui3 now. Tim asked me what cui was, today. I didn't know. To try to define it, i would say: cui is a way of saying something is not going as well as you would hope. At least, that's how i use that word.

Pretentious

I have no idea why, but I seem to use this word a lot on girls. I believe I'm substituting this word for the typical singaporean phrase 'act cute'. I guess since I'm a girl, I'm less sensitive to guys being pretentious, unless I personally know them. I myself hope that I'm not pretentious. But I have a feeling people think I am. On the one hand, pretending to be somebody you're not can help you with your networking. On the other, it ruins the way the others perceive you. And in the heart of it, you know that one cannot satisfy everyone at the same time, so both results will go hand in hand. However, are you more eager to make acquaintances that help you advance in life, or to keep your friends who have aided you in your success?

Busy

Currently: listening to blog songs, eating Chocolate Wafer Sticks, and typing with one hand for an invisible audience.

Have been quite busy... going out with friends =D. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Had an experience of a lifetime taking the shuttle bus from Jurong East. Nah. The bus reminded me of the newer 174 buses. Your ears just get clogged up due to the vibration when the bus is stationery.

Anyway, we reached RWS-USS and saw this trademark UNIVERSAL globe. Seen the bigger and nicer version in the US. But I didn't take the opportunity the last time because I was basically sulking the whole trip then. However, I've been given a second chance, it seems. So this time in Universal Studios Singapore, I was determined to have a freaking good time! We missed the opportunity to take pictures with Mr Hershey though (haha).

When we went to queue up at around 7pm, the queue had decreased to 3/4 the displacement (no, not distance/length, you know how queues usually wind [say: whine-d] to save space, don't you?). The girl manning the queue told us "No guarantee of tickets". I spent almost $2 on transport, I wasn't going home without spending $5 on tickets! We got our tickets without trouble. Then we went to get popcorn. Caramel Crisp. I didn't get to try the CheeseCorn though. Anyway, the queue was totally stalled by the scarcity of popcorn.

And then we went into the park. The first thing that caught my eye was a guy holding a conical flask of some drink. No, not the guy, the flask. It was totally cute! I forgot to buy it! Argh! Oh well, it costs $9 and the drink is cola, if my memory doesn't fail me.

Took lots of pictures. I was glad my storybook came into use as a platform for the cameras, because I certainly didn't do any reading the whole trip!

Oh yes, it was that evening that I realised Nazar and Mr Pandian looks alike. And I do mean alike, alike. Even another student of his thought they looked alike. I only realised who he was after he asked me whether I was going back to KW. No, check that. I only realised who he was after we were on our ways. My processors must need some oiling.

We missed the 10.20pm bus to Jurong East, so we queued up for the 10.40pm bus for Tiong Bahru instead. Saw an old friend on the train. Chatted with her a bit, should have stayed longer though. She was nice to talk to. Bumped into a close friend while walking from the MRT station to the bus station as well (actually she grabbed my bag to stop me). =D The world is really so small.

Reached home and washed up. Resolved to sleep early to wake up for another outing the next day. I guess my definition of 'early' has become 2am.

Busy - Vivocity/Sentosa

Woke up at 9.20am the following morning. I was supposed to reach Vivocity level 3 at 11am. Ate till I-don't-know 9.50am? Then I was stuck in the bathroom for around 20min till 10.23am. Or did I leave home by 10.23am? Doesn't matter. I was late! Typical.

Got my chance to zi bi on the bus and train. But my fantasy of walking around in that state in Vivo before 11am that day has (of course) been crushed.

Met bossman before looking for D and milk at Bakerzin. D TOLD ME IT WAS BAKER'S INN. Hehe. Anyway, that day, I realise TK DOESN'T REPLY SMSES. *frowns*. Went off with pirates to look for food. Was fallowing pirates because he was walking as if he knew where he was going. My brain wasn't working, so I didn't lead him to Food Republic even though I knew he was going in the wrong direction. I thought he was looking for other food stores. Oh well, we eventually reached there. But we didn't get anything from there.

Went down to the atrium where eventually we met up with everyone, and where we met wil and cream. Took a group photo with pirates, who was in line for Hair for Hope 2010. Oh! I saw Adrian Pang on stage! Haha!

We got to Burger King to queue up for our lunch. It was dam full. We queued for almost as long as pirates. So we ended up waiting for him to go over to Sentosa as well. Oh, my supposedly more updated version of the EZ-Link card doesn't work at the Sentosa Express tap gates. Oh joy. I had to queue up for the paper card. And they had to wait, once more.

Anyway, we trekked to Siloso from Beach Station. Trekked being walked. Walked past Fish & Co. Fish & Co. being Oscar (a fish) & Co. Wow. How misleading can I be, right? Along the way, 2 umbrellas were brought out by 2 people who were going to get tanned eventually. That defies logic, but that's just human.

We had a beachfront view where we sat. Wasting no time, we immediately smothered ourselves in sunblock. Then we went frisbee-ing under the sun while milk stayed under the palm tree and took candid shots of us.

Lazed around a bit afterwards, finishing my burger. I detected no sand in it okay! Milk and pirates went and got us mineral water. Argh i forgot about paying them. I'll bet it costs a bomb, there being Sentosa and all that. We all know Sentosa water is superior to the other types of mineral water. Wow, that makes so much sense.

We eventually went into the sea (well, knee-deep into the water). It was heavenly (well, not really, but better than not being in the water). We eventually gathered and sat in the shade talking about nonsense and making sense.

I should have gotten jing to go out earlier. They reached so late that we already finished eating at Sushi Tei! I had my first taste of roe there. I am sorry to the people who are opposed to it, or are offended by it, but I found the taste good as expected. I must have smelled or tasted it when I was small, courtesy of my father of course. Expensive food is almost always introduced by him.

We took our last group photos of the day, and made our way home. Leaving jing, flaze, and pirates at Vivo. As always, pirates is nice enough to keep them company. I wasn't. I wanted to get home, bathe, and SLEEP. 2 days without 8 full hours of sleep each was taking its toll.

I couldn't get off the sofa after bathing. So I stay there until around 10pm, brushed my teeth, and knocked out... Until 1.55am when I woke up from a dream. What the hey?! My lips were chapped (and possibly bleeding), my body was stiff, and the room felt stuffy even with the air con on. The thing is, I didn't have a nightmare. The dream was just too weird, I guess. I don't remember the dream by now, of course. So I ended up reading manga from my phone till 4am. Wow. That's mainly because I got started on a new manga. Shoujo this time.

Wisdom halved

Round 2 is over. At least, I hope it is. My wound is still healing awfully slowly. Well at least I can clamp my teeth together on the left side with minimal biting now. But the drill wound is as bad as ever. It's like an ulcer that comes into contact with my long and sharp canine. It hurts to brush my teeth -.-. Anyway, halfway through surgery, after or when my tooth was being pulled out, i felt a sharp pain which wasn't unbearable. And I felt as though my jaw was being pushed to the right. I think they held my jaw the 1st time. Felt as though something broke there. Or maybe it was just the tooth. At least I saw that it looked whole. Wasn't in the state of mind and didn't have the will to talk to ask them for the tooth back home or anything. I ended up going to another dentist to ask about the bone near the extraction site. I hope I'm one of the lucky ones that have it heal in 1 or 2 weeks. I really don't want to go back after I remove my stitches.

Anyway, the bone totally made my first day of recovery unbearable. Didn't know if it was a bone. Just knew there was a pain like an ulcer near the back of my tongue. It hurt like mad to swallow that day. The second day, I got a little more accustomed to it, but I still couldn't move my tongue around much because of it. So eating became a huge problem. The first night was unbearable. Because I can't clamp my teeth together, I can't chew using even 1 side. I'm glad I had 1 large KFC whipped potato the second day (or was it night, and I only ate around the medium size). Had whipped potato again the 3rd night (finished it =D). And then I wanted whipped potatoes again the fourth day. I got porridge with hard food (that I would usually love). I thought I was able to chew well enough. I was wrong. I ended up chewing on my wound more times than I would like. Night was porridge again. Just like one of the meals for each of the previous days, it was blended. HAHAHA! It tastes ok actually. Because the taste is captured and it's easy to eat (i.e. just swallow). Had steamed egg too. It was ok, but quite a chore to eat, still.

On to the medicine. The antibiotics tablets are HUGE. Okay it's still swallow-able. But I need to concentrate to swallow. Yesterday, my concentration was broken by my dad who told me to gargle when I was battling with the bone near my tongue. I choked on the tablet. Thanks Dad -.-. My choking caused my wound to hurt. Urgh. At least now I've completed the whole course of antibiotics. Anyway, the painkillers prescribed became more a burden than a relief for this round. I had to eat to take painkillers. I didn't want to eat. So I only took painkillers twice this round. Saddens me that I can't stay up late at night the first night and watch TV while eating sugar-coated bread because I was hungry. I even bought bread when going home!

I am craving for all sorts of food!

Had my wisdom tooth surgery on Wednesday 23 June 2010. Went there with a light feeling (that I'm gonna get rid of the teeth). Came back with a heavy feeling (that I have to go back again for the second one). The feeling was... indescribable. I really thank Daisy for telling me to listen to music there during the whole process. Talk more about it after I get the second one done. Have to get the stitches removed too.

[Start of maple rant]
Went back to mapling on Tuesday or Wednesday (I forgot o.o) in the hopes of fighting the Giant Centipede again, and found that my account has been hacked. HOLY CRAP! Wow. And I don't even give away my password.
The thing is, not all my items are gone. I was left with 1/4 of my scrolls, the clothes and equipment my lv 10 and 15 were wearing, some (about 15?) etc items, 1/3 of my setup items, and none of my other equipment. -.- I hope whoever did this is happy. But I wish I could claim them back (if they were just a glitch that would solve itself in maybe a day or two? Dream on).
I lost (among other things) my cromi, red whip, sauna robes, fish spear, red-hearted earrings, goldrunners, glove (i don't remember), cape (i forgot), pan lid, leaf earrings, maple lama staff, calaf, anakarune (I think it was borrowed -.-), my crystals, my potions, my scrolls, my quest items, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

May Karma befall you!

So anyway, I managed to walk from Mu Lung (Panda there) to Orbis. Quite terrifying at the crocs there (I forgot what they're called). At Orbis, I met someone who wanted to give me 300k after he saw me with no equipment. He said 'That's all I have' 'Take it'. Gosh. That was nice, but I rejected the trade lah. What good would it do actually. Anyway, got back to Victoria safely. Went around sourcing for equipment.
Did 2 quests at dungeon. One was still ok. It would have been easier in the past though, where the final area was occupied by a lower-levelled monster that was prone to my elemental attacks (cold eye then vs red drake now). I spammed pots like crazy. And apparently for the next quest, I had to look for an abandoned note and deliver it. By then my exp was around 90+.
I found the NPC and I SUPPOSEDLY got sucked into a black hole or something. Guess where I go teleported to... Some map with Jr. Balrog. Yeah, I was equipped with what... level 16 clothes and a level 38 wand. WTH?! HAHAHA! I'm glad I was standing at the portal. Just in time to see Jr Balrog delivering an attack unprovoked. I got out (thankfully). Maybe I pressed something wrong, I clicked the NPC again. Wrong move, I got transported there, AGAIN. At least I got out. I am NOT going to do that quest again. At least, until I get decent equipment. And when my exp is at/near 0%.
Met someone when using my sub character. The name was my birthday. So he asked me to wait. Asked me is my birthday so-and-so? I asked why. He said his was the same. Asked me age. He said same, AGAIN! So he asked, got FB? And asked for email. I asked for his instead. He said his was childish, so don't wanna give me. Who would believe that -.-
[End of maple rant]

B&Js

Bought Ben & Jerry's ice cream cause they were on sale till 30 June. 4 flavours I haven't tried before. Can't wait to try them. Been eating the chocolate coated macadamia flavour. Totally addicted! Salted macadamia + Chocolate~ Mmmm~

dammit

Oh great, it's been hacked. Wonderful!

A Cookie Affair

This is so cute:

Vanilla Ice Cream with a Chocolate Cookie Swirl & Chocolate Chip Cookies & Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies

That time of the day

I've wondered why I'm not asleep at this time of the day/night. It's nearly 6am at this point in this blog entry. I guess it's the time when I can truly be alone. I can't imagine facing family for too long. The same goes for online friends (I have no life, either that or we're just plain lazy). Anyway, this might sound selfish but this is the time that I don't need to watch other people's mood. This is the time when everything is about me, because seriously, not many people are awake at this time to do anything to me in real time. Smses are replied when they wake up. Online posts are read typically in the afternoon. Offline messages are replied to often at night.

This makes me realise... Even though technology can bring us life updates in real time, we humans are unable/unwilling to respond to them 24/7.

I am NOT D

Been bugging the people (Jing and Pirates in particular) to stop calling me D. I don't mind 0 calling me D, he came up with it. And I can understand Daizy calling me that, cause that's what everyone's calling me when she knew me. But dammit, the people who know me, why are you calling me what someone else is calling me. For the sake of convenience, since D is so easy to type? For the sake of fitting in, since everyone is calling me that?

For goodness sake, my whole name doesn't have a single D in it. Ok so maybe 0 got called 0 by our people (but I don't think any of his closer friends ever tried to call him 0). And my gosh, jing now calls him korkor and pirates calls him old jb (something along that line lah). Since you're using your own names for him, why not for me?! It especially ticks me off when people like jing and pirates call me D, because I've known them for a long time now and I find it ridiclous that they have to use a name that another person calls me by.

It might seem like just a small issue. How come some people can call me D without me getting upset? When Daizy calls me D, i'm okay with it (my mind has already registered that it's her way of calling me, just like my mind registers people online calling me raven). If other people from other FAMs call me D, I will sian diao. And IF bullet calls me D, I think I'll cry. And even when I say this, I can't stop calling him bullet. What the hey, I even smsed dajie one day referring to him as bullet. Shameful. Thank goodness I still call dajie, dajie. Otherwise, 不像话.

Back to topic. I just don't want to feel as though we've gotten further apart instead of closer. I didn't feel anything in the beginning. But when people start spamming D D D, I really don't know what to say.

RavenD is not D. P2/bullet calls me p1 or qijie. sw calls me rav. 0 calls me D. Most people in audi call me raven. I really don't care if my other friends call me D. But my closer friends, please. Calling me what someone else calls me makes me realise that... you don't know what to call me. That makes me feel so important in your heart.

On a brighter note, I'm really satisfied with how our FAM is bonding. It's really fun to play with everyone. (When) the atmosphere is right. It was different from when me and Honey were playing with another fam in team. I could really sense how they wanted to win. I guess that might be how our team behaved around other people. But I do think we play differently with/against friends. I guess it's our different culture. And I really do like our culture. =D

Something (okay, someone) really disgusts me, to say the least. I guess old habits die hard.

MV on youtube

What am i doing 5am in the morning? I'm watching Epik High's MV on YouTube. The first to catch my eye was Run (because I've seen the rest of the more popular ones). It was (for lack of better word) epic. I didn't think so at first because I don't understand Korean. So the first time I saw it, I was 'wow'. Second time I saw it (with subtitles this time), I was 'Wow!' Actually, I couldn't catch some of the longer subtitles (yes I should read more, I'm out of touch). So the THIRD time I watched it (because I was going to post it on facebook, and I'm glad I did), the waterworks began quite suddenly, I have no idea why. That's when I finally caught the lyrics.

Seriously! Heartbreak should be over. It's time to move on, not run away. Go go go go~! Ever wondered why people often say running away is easier than moving on? Because it's damn much faster! In the end it'll be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

On a lighter note, I got the music player up. So instead of going to Nokia's Ovi Player, I'll just rot here for music. xD Mix pod asks us to upload our own MP3s if we want to play just the music and not the video. Is that like a new way to catch illegal downloaders? Right...

And I finally deleted someone from my buddy list in audi (around a week ago). Told "someone", then she said "No! We need to track him!" to which I replied "Oh no!" All in good fun =D. That person wasn't even a friend of mine to begin with. Playing with him is not a good experience. And I doubt he will come find us if he can't find me online anyway. ;)

I wonder how long it will take for him to realise I've deleted him ^^